Monday, 2 April 2012

Week Without Work One

My first week without work has come and gone.  It was an emotional week with lots of goodbyes.

I mostly packed the house up and cried a lot.  I cried every time I walked past the church where most of Monkey's ashes are.  I cried every morning when I dropped Wotsit off at nursery.  I cried when I sat in the garden and looked at the view.  I cried when I went to the park and it was everso everso peaceful.  I cried when a friend who lives nearby dropped in.  I cried when we went swimming for the last time ast the Special Needs School which Monkey woould have gone to.

The boys said goodbye to school and nursery.  I was very proud of them both - they will be missed by quite a few people.  And Pickle has his first Pen Pal.

We didn't exchange on the sale of our house and I have to confess to hoping that it falls through so that I don't have to leave but, after a lovely weekend with Husband and boys, I'm remembering that it doesn't really matter where we are.  We'll be okay.  There were good reasons to move and those haven't changed.  Losing connections with Monkey is by far the hardest thing and somehow I have to store them away (probably here) so they are not lost.

So, now I'm hoping it doesn't all fall through or I may be in trouble for wishing quite so hard...