Holding back the tears... or not

So today was an emotional day in our house. By the time we left for school there'd been some shouting (from Pickle, Wotsit & me) and loads of tears (from Pickle, Wotsit & me).  Tensions were high.  Pickle was saying goodbye to his Year 1 teacher who is leaving the school.  He loves her (I love her too). Wotsit was disappointed he wasn't going to school (I was disappointed too) and hoping to sneak in one last hug with Mrs H and say goodbye to his year 6 'special friend' (and maybe collect a present or two...).

Me?  I was tired - waiting up for husband to come home last night - and I was sad.  Sad for the boys and sad at moving on from two lovely classes that have helped us so much this year.  I wrote jaw-droppingly sentimental thank you cards and smudged the ink in all of them.  I even emailed the headmistress to tell her how wonderful I thought her team were.

We made it out the door and walked calmly to school with Pickle needing the occasional hug.  As soon as we got to the playground, I was teary again.  So many children excited about their last day at school, so many parents celebrating the end of their child's first year and looking forward to the summer ahead.  It hurt.  I felt really sorry for us, for me.

Finally, cards and hugs delivered and presents collected, we headed out of the playground.  Me with my head firmly down, avoiding eye contact of any kind.  I think a new friend saw the pain, she pulled over alongside me on the way home and invited us to the park after school.  Her kindness meant I welled up again.  Still, I had to refuse as Wotsit's not up to parks just yet.

We had a chilled out morning, made a model aeroplane, cleaned up and went shopping.  School finished at 1.30pm.  We waited for Pickle at the front of school (so Wotsit's not loitering amongst any germs) which helped us avoid the celebratory, end of term playground spirit.  We collected Pickle who was sad but cheered up when he was told he was popping in to see his friend.  And that was our tuning point.  It was lovely, and necessary.  The children played beautifully, I got to share some of the things going on in my head and, 3 ice lollies later (who needs wine?), I finally relaxed.